Mercado by Cuauhtemoc
Hot sun rays squeezed juicy scents from the mangos and papayas and
sent them swirling into the air, and up my nostrils. A man played the
guitar for change, vendors melodiously announced prices, street dogs
nonchalantly brushed up against me as we weaved our way through the
bustling crowd, decorated in their Sunday best, sprayed with their
expensive perfumes. I felt mother tug me close to her, my sweaty hand in
hers, as we passed the dusty beggars, uncomfortably settled on the
cobblestone road, their skinny hands outstretched toward me, weighing
heavily on my heart.
Later that day my mother found me in my room, sitting alone against
the wall, a sheet draped over my head like a veil, my hand outstretched,
my head bowed. I had internalized the beggars suffering as my own. I
sought to understand it. I sought to find an explanation for pain in
their eyes. I ached to find a solution for their hurts.
Beggar by Peter Kojin
I am told I remained that way for long stretches of time, after each
visit to the outdoor market. My mother insists that the first time she
found me like this, I was only three years old. Just tall enough to be
directly at eye level with the pleading eyes of beggars, which I can
still remember.
And then there were the live chickens: tied together by their feet
and mercilessly dangling in the hot sun until someone picked one out for
dinner. I remember staring into a basket full of chicken heads when I
was a little girl. Their eyes still open. Their headless bodies running
around the market, wings flapping wildly, like feathered zombies.
By the time I entered adolescence, my diet reflected all the times I
had listened to animals being slaughtered at the public market.
Sometimes their screams squeezed my torso so hard I could hardly
breathe. Their agony had automatically become my own. How could the
others just walk by the butcher shops as easily as they would a clothing
shop? Laughing and talking as if no pain was being inflicted. My
childhood mind could not grasp this. Didn’t they
feel it?
“Oh! You’re just too sensitive!” people would tell me, or “Toughen up!”
Eventually I realized that my sensitive nature seemed to hold
negative stigma, so I learned to keep my perceptions to myself most of
the time. Finding another sensitive person who could relate to my views
was a rare treat. But who exactly determines what’s “too sensitive” and
what isn’t? I questioned why society saw my sensitivities as a negative.
It’s almost as if they were telling me that the way I experienced life
was somehow wrong. But my way of being was who I was. And, as a little
girl, I saw myself doing many things with it!
Layla by Katarina Silva
I wanted to be a magical healer when I grew up, because I
automatically tuned into people’s pain. I was eager to be a dancer
because music could never contain me, and sent me moving with each note.
I was drawn to become a firefighter, because the big, loud fire engines
excited me and fueled me with a sense of urgency. I saw myself as a vet
because I was convinced I could speak the language of animals. And I
definitely imagined myself a mystical sorceress, because as a little
girl I was absolutely convinced I could communicate with the deceased.
Then there was my love for baking. Life was so yummy and full of
arousing options!
Every one of us wants to be deliciously aroused in one way or another.
We want life to awaken us, stir us, stroke us, and stimulate us just
enough to delight in our existence, and not so much that we’re
overwhelmed by it. We thirst for stimulation from the time we are born.
Not
too much and
not too little, but just the perfectly balanced amount that will twirl
us in a dance of experiences and growth. My mother tells me I was an
usually astute toddler with an endless capacity for exploration and
inquiry. I felt the world beckoning to me. Life’s an endless playground
out there and it’s calling our name!
Playtime is about perception. Those who are aware of more stimulants
in their environment will naturally have an expansive state of
perception. Two people may be in the same situation, receiving the same
stimulation, but they way they experience it, and how aroused their
nervous system becomes by it, could be whole galaxies apart!
How much of life are you awakened to?
Tree Soul by Katarina Silva
Recent neurological research has discovered that some of us, (about
15 to 20%, to be exact), are more sensitive to the world around us than
the rest. We move through life with a more pronounced state of
awareness, and depth of experience. We are easily aroused by the
subtleties in our surroundings, such as changing moon phases, ocean
tides, shifting weather patterns, magnetic fields, sonic frequencies and
the migration of animals, insects and birds, to name a few.
We are also more attuned to the activities in our own bodies such as
imbalances, breath patterns, heart rate, digestion, muscle tension and
sexual arousal. As well as being more active in our dreams, our fantasy
life, memories, imaginations and especially, our intuition. Possibly,
the most common way to detect us is that we are extremely empathetic to
the feelings of others, including animals, almost as if they were our
own. Sometimes it can all be very overwhelming and exhausting!
Being born with heightened sensitivity can become our greatest asset or our worst liability, depending on how we relate to it.
Although most most of contemporary society is structured in such a
way that being extra sensitive can sometimes feel like a curse, ancient
cultures recognized it as a special gift, and they admired and valued
those who possessed it as special guides.
TAKE THE TEST:
If you can relate to
six or more of the case scenarios
below, (or parallel ones you imagine in your mind), you are probably
among the 20% of the population that has been
gifted with this heightened level of sensitivity:
1. While others usually interact socially with many
people at surface levels, you prefer to connect with just a handful of
people but at very deep and meaningful levels.
2. While some merely watch movies, you
participate
in them on an emotional level nearly akin to the characters themselves,
and use the ending credits after movies to transition from the world on
the screen, back into the world around you. Oh! And did I mention
we always bring tissues?
3. While others seem to move through public
education with no problem, you feel oddly out of your element restricted
by the ringing bells, the buzzing florescent lights, the deadlines on
assignments, the superimposed pace, the lack of creativity.
4. While some may only notice the “lovely” sounds of birds, you can’t help but to decipher the
tone of the bird calls and realize that they are not lovely at all, but
distress calls, in which a larger bird is targeting the fledgelings of another for its next meal!
5. While others can enter a room without having its
details phase them, you notice everything from the stain on the left
curtain panel, to the cooking smells from the previous meal, the texture
of the couch upholstery, its temperature, lighting, how close the
traffic sounds are, and any residue tension lingering in the air from
the argument that transpired in the room before you even entered it.
6. While others can run with the monotonous rat race
at urban speed, through multiple tasks, rush hour traffic, complaining
bosses and many co-workers, day after day, year after year, your
constitution is more suited to working at your own pace, in peaceful
surroundings, or you may become rattled.
7. While most will just walk by a crying child being
ignored by its mother in a supermarket cart without incident, you feel
your heart beating faster as you’re compelled to relieve it of its
discomfort.
8. While most people can go from work, to shopping,
to socializing in a single day without even blinking an eye, you find
yourself needing to pace yourself and take time to recharge in between
stimulating activities or events.
9. While most people can rush through an art museum
ingesting one work after another in a short amount of time, you prefer
to take time to absorb the essence of each piece at a more gradual,
thorough pace, usually involving connecting with the emotional make up and mind-set of each artist.
10. While most people can go through lovers like
fashion styles, your erotic encounters are whole person experiences with
someone you love, leaving you feeling as if the whole room is spinning,
and in need of recovery time from your intense lovemaking before you
can participate fully in the next activity.
If you are gifted with a heightened sensitivity, remember that most of the world is designed for those who
do not have this personality trait.
But please don’t let that silence you!
If you ever felt as if you did not fit in, remember that
there is nothing wrong with the way you are.
We are the privileged minority! And although we may not always be
welcomed or facilitated by most of the modern world’s structures, we
compose most of the creative quotient on the planet, for we are always
inventing new ways to go against the grain. And all life thrives on
creativity!
People with heightened levels of sensitivity are often
found designing our own alternative lifestyles, or innovating new
approaches to living.
Shaman by Katarina Silva
We aim to surround ourselves with others who will respect our
sensitive nature, and not try to change it. Tribal cultures view us as
their spiritual guides, and humanity’s doorway to the mysteries of the
universe. As Marie-Louise Von Franz, who worked closely with Jung once
mentioned:
“On a primitive level the highly sensitive is the shaman, who knows
what the gods and ghosts and ancestral spirits are planing, and who
conveys their messages to the tribes….these sensitive ones know about
the slow process that goes on in the collective unconscious.”
In Elaine. N Aron’s book
The Highly Sensitive Person, she writes about how today, rather than becoming our tribe’s prophets and seers, we are the the world’s poets, inventors,
artists, musicians, and dancers!
The highly sensitive are the wild and the wise. We are the rebels and
radicals and revolutionaries. We are the visionaries who can glimpse
the future. We are so many things to so many people, probing generally
unnoticed areas and returning with our findings. And as Von Franz says,
though we may be misunderstood by our peers, we will most likely be
recognized by “later generations, as a representation of what was going
on in the collective unconscious at that time.” Life honors us!
So, you who ingests life at a whole other
level of awareness, who we find in well-stocked libraries, and rescuing
dogs from shelters, and in meditation rooms or tending to organic
gardens as the sun peeks over the horizon. You who volunteers for human
rights organizations, and who forgets to eat you are so consumed by your
latest art project, and notices the spider web that appeared in your
favorite tree from one day to another. You modern day shaman, who
navigates through life to your own tune, gently, conscientiously, and as
gracefully as possible (as long as our
adrenals kick in when we need them most!). You beautiful, sensitive soul: Just feel free to be yourself, without apologizing.
Katarina Silva is an emerging self-portraiture artist whose work’s
unique signature is the absence of her face, and the creation of each
image in only ten seconds. Her expressive photographic images are fueled
by an intuitive and spontaneous, creative process that celebrates the
feminine spirit. You may view her work at
The Art of Katarina Silva.
Serves 
Prep
15
mins
Cook
40
mins
