My God is a Woman

AUTHOR: TOBY ISRAEL

IMAGE: TOBYINTHEWORLD / INSTAGRAM

IMAGE: CLAUDIA DEA / FLICKR

EDITOR: JULIE BALSIGER

My God is a Woman

I am tired of it.
Too many days
spent covering my body
for someone else’s benefit,

Anger boils beneath my layers
and I wonder
who
will respect my sensibilities.

I am tired of it,
and as I look at the cool,
clear water
just out of reach of my body,
I can finally admit:

Not. My. God.
Not my god, this hiding, this shame.
Not my god.

You see,
My god is a woman.
She is of the earth yet transcends the earth,
and her feet are stained with dirt.

My god is a woman.
She hails from the wild seas, yet transcends the sea,
and her hair tastes like salt and freedom.

My god is a woman.
She dances on the moon—
and you may not see her,
but we can.

My god is a woman,
and she loves.
to see.
my skin.

And so—
I am a worshipper of beauty.
of nakedness.
of water on bare skin.
of moonlight.
of blood.
of dirt.

And I am tired
of pretending
any different.

For I have known what it means
to slip naked
into the sea…

And I will never be content without it.