How to be a Decent Human Being (by My dog, Duke).
This morning I thought about my childhood dog, Duke.
Duke was a yellow lab with more love than the 70s and a bigger appetite than a vegan marathon runner.
Duke lived his life to the absolute fullest and died one sunny day while playfully chasing a butterfly in our backyard. I realized today that Duke knew more about being a decent person than pretty much any actual person I have ever known.
For this reason, I am hoping to channel his eternal slobbery wisdom for this post.
Duke and I proudly present:
How to be a Decent Human Being
(Decency by: Duke / Credit-Taking By: Kat)
1. There are few problems in life that cannot be solved by a brisk walk.
2. Eating should consume every ounce of ones attention.
3. It’s best to sniff someone out before putting your trust in them.
4. Keep your eye on the ball (or whatever).
5. People will like you better if you have good breath.
6. Leashes are for dogs not kids. This is confusing for everyone.
7. When life gives you lemons, take a nap.
8. Listen more. Talk less.
9. Unattended food is fair game.
10. It’s rude to watch someone relieve themselves.
11. The prospect of going outside should always make you jump up and down with delight.
12. Make time for heavy petting.
13. Eat at the same time everyday.
14. Nothing on that little screen is more important than the people in the room or in your life.
15. Burritos are the perfect food.
16. Everybody deserves a treat for a job well done.
17. Develop a respectful handshake.
18. If all else fails, stare at someone until they give you what you want.
19. A good snuggle can revive even the foulest of moods.
20. Find something that you really love to do and never stop getting ridiculously excited about it!
Rest in peace, Duke. Your sweet legacy lives on.
Thanks for making me decent.
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