Tuesday, 24 April 2018

The Bull Terrier (Bullie)

. The Bullie
Once thought to be a mythical creature it’s now known to exist. Some believed it to be a species of dog or related to the other mythical creature the Chinese barking pig, during recent studies it’s been found they are in fact a species all of their own.
What that species is is still uncertain but further research has gone on to ascertain the following.
Unlike dogs who are only to willing to please, sit when told and be quiet the bullie possesses none of these traits. It has an ability to do the exact opposite of what’s required, this includes “anchors down” when it decides it no longer wishes to walk. This stubborn streak runs right through them but so does a similar cute streak that seems to enable them to get away with it.
Found to be selective, was originally thought that deafness might be inherent but studies have found they hear when they decide they want to listen. When required to perform certain tasks such as bathing then deafness sets in. Treats on the other hand produces hearing that would put most bats to shame, they can hear a crisp packet being opened from 5 rooms away.
Bullie runs.
Zoomies being another name of this particular trick, absolute joy seems to be derived from running full tilt from one room to the other, around any table and having the ability to bounce from piece of furniture to the next. Once you observe this phenomenon you tend to be left wondering how that much energy came from something that was soundly asleep no more than a minute ago.
Probably more related to oxen than dogs, they must have the stomach of an ox or someone designed them with a cast iron one. The food they eat will turn you green and they take great delight and savour every morsel, that’s if it’s possible to savour anything that takes mere seconds to devour. Research has found that the best way of approaching this is to drop the food bowl and run.
The side effect of the above. There has been some research put forward that states the gases emitted from bullies could heat most countries including the artic circle. The downside is no one wants that kind of gas fuelling anything, no source of energy is worth the aroma emitted with it.
You have to consider this extensively, nothing is safe, furniture, doors, skirting boards can end up looking as though a small tornado has passed through. Your shins will look as though you have hit with a paintball gun. It’s been found they have a penchant for the more expensive things in life, Gucci, Jimmy Shoo etc are, shall we say, al la carte to the tastebuds of a bullie. Nothing is safe.
Common nickname due to the ability to get through anything as if it’s not there. With skulls so thick and dense they seem to feel nothing when they hit something full on head first. Any other animal or human would be treated for concussion or even brain injury if they hit things with the same impact. To be safe most owners look to build everything and we mean everything out of bricks or concrete. Sometimes even that does not suffice.
Land shark.
With a set of impressive teeth and a jaw to match they are linked to the great white shark. Known as the land shark there is nothing they will not try to chew, if they can chew it they will regardless of if it’s edible or not. When you look at the destruction they can cause if they chose to do so you have to stand back and marvel at the sheer scale of it.
A hard to class animal that seems to be a unique species on its own. It appears to span the evolution of a few other mammals, some good qualities some not quite so good. One thing that stands out is their ability to love, to be loyal, to be the class clown and terrorist at the same time. They possess another ability to be so cute they just seem to get away with anything.

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