Yoni is the Sanskrit word for vagina meaning “sacred place.”
When I was in Tantric Yoga school the awareness and knowledge of yoni massages was inevitable.
I know a lot of people are thinking, “What the f*ck?” but let me share my experience and point of view.
Just like every other part of our body, the yoni holds emotion and tension and it can be helpful to have these released.
There are women who have experienced sexual trauma and there are many woman who have suppressed their sensuality and sexual energy.
The goal of a yoni massage isn’t necessarily to have an orgasm, often times women can get emotional during and/or after the massage because of what is coming up for them.
I am fortunate not to have any history of sexual abuse, but I would say my sensuality has been suppressed and that I am just beginning to discover the potential of owning my sexuality. Because of this, plus being in a Tantric Yoga school, I decided to have a yoni massage (a few actually).
My first one was with a woman.
I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be, until we began the ritual of the massage. I began talking to the woman, telling her that this was my first yoni massage and why I wanted to get one–I was about to enter the first level of Tantra and became aware of my fear and resistance to sexuality—I wanted to begin breaking down those walls.
The therapist was lovely and gave me an overview of everything and we began.
We sat in meditation and I made my overall intention for the session, we then made a consecration; offering the fruits of this act to the divine.
Now it was time to begin the massage, I was to undress in front of her and with each piece of clothing I removed, I made an intention of what I wanted to release—this can be anything from shyness to unworthiness about past trauma. I made my intentions, which was almost more vulnerable than being naked, and then laid down and was given a full body massage.
After the massage, I was asked to go to the bathroom and when I came back I laid down on my back, the massage continued but now we’re moving towards my yoni. I started to think to myself, “Okay, here we go.” as I kept being reminded to focus on my breath.
The therapist began by massaging the outside of my yoni, noting that it was a healthy yoni, without knots or tension (I felt good about that—I’m not going to lie), this was accompanied by massaging my thighs, stomach and breasts as well.
She then asked me to contract my yoni muscles (Kegel exercises, anyone?) and once I released, her fingers entered my yoni. Now, you may be asking if this was at all weird, at any moment and to be honest, no! Trust me, I was waiting for it be uncomfortable. Then she began by hitting certain pressure points within my yoni, which were not pleasurable, there was definitely tension and just like any massage she began to release the pressure.
Once the pressure points were done, she went to different areas of my yoni, G spot, A spot, cervix and Kundalinispot.
There were certain areas that were more pleasurable than others and once she hit the sensitive A spot, the focus stayed there. Now I must say, going into this, I was not expecting to have an orgasm—I thought it would help release some tension, but that I was filled with too much tension to really let go and experience an orgasm.
Well, I had an orgasm and it was pretty amazing. I imploded the orgasm versus having an explosive orgasm, meaning instead of releasing the energy out, I kept it within my body—for me that equaled a full body orgasm.
I then laid there for about 10 minutes and allowed the energy to subside. Once I was ready, I sat in front of the therapist and she presented me with my clothes, but this time, as I got dressed I was to make an intention of something I was taking with me moving forward. So, with each piece of clothing I made an intention of bringing something in, for example worthiness, empowerment, surrender and sexiness.
Once I was dressed I said, “thank you” to my therapist and was on my way.
There was no awkwardness at all, and I felt totally comfortable speaking with her and asking her questions afterward. To me, yoni massage is a proper therapy and there was no uncomfortable energy attached to the experience.
I have since, have had a yoni massage by a man, which brought up some nerves and insecurities, but again, there was no uncomfortable or awkward energy.
I am happy I did it—it allowed me to become aware of my sexuality and begin to give it some attention.
This is just the beginning, with my sexuality being ignored for so long, I really have to continue giving myself and my sexuality the attention it deserves.
So, I now begin to step into and discover yet another aspect of myself, my sensual and sexual self.