Tuesday 20 November 2018

The novels that Charles Dickens didn't write!

One of the 19th century fads among England’s literati was to decorate rooms with ornamental books instead of actual published volumes, often using humorous titles. Charles Dickens had his local bookbinder Thomas Robert Eeles produce a whole series of leather bound dummy volumes with ornately printed book-backs to disguise a hidden door to his study when he moved into Tavistock House, this was the London home of Dickens and his family from 1851 to 1860.
Some of the witty, and obscure titles are listed below:
Five Minutes in China
Forty Winks at the Pyramids​
Abernethy on the Constitution
A Carpenter’s Bench of Bishops
Toot’s Universal Letter-Writer
Orson’s Art of Etiquette​
Downeaster’s Complete Calculator
History of the Middling Ages
Jonah’s Account of the Whale
Captain Parry’s Virtues of Cold Tar
Kant’s Ancient Humbugs​
Bowwowdom. A Poem
The Quarrelly Review
The Gunpowder Magazine
Steele. By the Author of ‘Ion’
The Art of Cutting the Teeth
Matthew’s Nursery Songs
Paxton’s Bloomers
On the Use of Mercury by the Ancient Poets
Drowsy’s Recollections of Nothing​
Heavyside’s Conversations with Nobody
Commonplace Book of the Oldest Inhabitant
Growler’s Gruffiology, with Appendix
The Books of Moses and Sons
Burke (of Edinburgh) on the Sublime and Beautiful​
Teazer’s Commentaries
King Henry the Eighth’s Evidences of Christianity
Miss Biffin on Deportment
Morrison’s Pills Progress
Lady Godiva on the Horse​
Munchausen’s Modern Miracles
Richardson’s Show of Dramatic Literature
Hansard’s Guide to Refreshing Sleep (as many volumes as possible)
History of a Short Chancery Suit
Catalogue of Statues of the Duke of Wellington
Some of the titles do have some reason behind them: Miss Biffin was a Victorian mouth painter with no arms and vestigial legs, James Morrison sold quack “cure-all” pills, and Captain Parry was an Arctic explorer
Below is the text of the letter that Dickens sent to his bookbinder
Household Words’ Office,
Wednesday Evening, 22 Oct 1851
Dear Mr Eeles,
I send you the list I have made for the book-backs. I should like the ‘History of a Short Chancery Suit’ to come at the bottom of one recess, and the ‘Catalogue of Statues of the Duke of Wellington’ at the bottom of the other. If you should want more titles, and will let me know how many, I will send them to you.
Pictured is my colourised version of a portrait taken of Charles Dickens at his London residence, but I have posted a comparison image showing the original photograph at the top of the comments

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