It can be so difficult to find the right words when our friends are hurting, especially when their pain is self-inflicted. I don’t know if there is anything harder for me to do than watch someone I love go down the rabbit hole of self-destruction. (A place I am all too familiar with.)
A close friend is going through a catastrophic life event right now. I was in the middle of a heartfelt pep talk, when she said, “I wish I could see myself through your eyes.”
“Well, you’re me. And I am you. And we are one, because the light inside me is also in you.” That was all I could come up with that night but there was so much more to say.
At our core, we are all radiant beings. The problem is, our human nature doesn’t always allow us to see ourselves for what we really are when we strip ourselves down to the core.
At her core, she is the same divine light that I am. I wrote this to help her see what I see when I look at her soul.
Do you have any idea how beautiful you are, my darling friend? I don’t mean the superficial beauty that we see on magazine covers, or artificial beauty that can be bought and sold. I mean real beauty—the beauty that lives inside the divine and miraculous creation you are.
Have you lost your way? Has the cruelty of life left you feeling abandoned and abused? Have you buried your brilliance under shame and regret? Did you believe the lies they told you, when they said you weren’t good enough? Have you continued beating the drum of your inadequacy, even after their song was finished? Please remember that you always have been, and ever will be, perfect.
Can you see your worth? Your unique contributions to this world are more valuable than anything that glitters—more than the most precious of metals or stones. Your worth is inherent. It’s isn’t something you must earn, or prove, or beg for. You were born already deserving of the best life has to offer.
When you have forgotten your magnificence, when you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see, or worse, you don’t recognize the person looking back from your reflection, when you become so focused on your mistakes, your pain, or your past, that your joy is lost—take heart. You are never alone.
Go inside, my love. Where you are stardust and moon beams. Examine not your earthly struggles but focus instead on your resilience, your courage, your strength. Remember that every experience brings a gift. When we can find the gift, we can let go of the challenges that brought it to us. Let your heart be full of gratitude and know that you are a little stronger, a little wiser, and a little more authentic.
No father, mother, bitter ex-lover, or fair-weather friend has the power to change you without your permission. Sometimes our most powerful teachers are those who create the deepest wounds. These are the gifts that can be unwrapped only through forgiveness.
Trust always, that your missteps do not define you.
If you cannot find a way to love the person you are today—if you’re too broken, too angry, or too ashamed to find something wonderful in this moment—see if you can find something gorgeous in the world. Then, acknowledge that to recognize the beauty of a rose, or the grace of a butterfly, or the radiance of the heavenly bodies, it must also exist inside you.
If you cannot find anything beautiful in the world to remind you of your perfection, try instead to remember your innocence. Travel back to a time when you were little and everything was magical. Can you embrace the child inside, and love yourself there? You are still the same soul as that little child.
What would you say to that child? Could you tell them that they are worthless and terrible and undeserving? Or would you tell them that they could be, do, or have all that they can dream of? Learn to speak to yourself the way you would speak to that little child. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
Remember always, that you are a unique expression of the universe. You are here for a special purpose that only you can fulfill. Even at your worst, you are nothing short of a miracle. And no matter what you have done in the past, you always have the ability to make a new choice in this moment. Forgive yourself every failure, every mistake, every moment that you are not at your best. Your missteps do not define you. Give yourself grace, and patience, and time.
Sweetheart, don’t you understand? You are perfection embodied, strength personified, and beauty breathing. You were born into greatness by your divine nature. The entire universe resides inside you.
There is nothing you must do to become worthy of your own love and respect—you need only extend it to yourself unconditionally.
Love yourself with every breath you take, and let your beautiful, magnificent, perfect light shine.